this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
