There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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