im drinking this country out of the recession.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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