then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
