Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
