Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Randomize
