doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
