Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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