I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
