Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
