This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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