i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
