The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
