if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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