It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
