I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
