Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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