I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
