I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
