So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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