names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
