Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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