i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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