Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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