you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
