Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
