Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
