I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
