i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
