thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We had to coat check the pizza.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
