Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
