You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
