My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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