All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
