I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
