I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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