just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
