hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
