I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
