when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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