hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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