I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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