the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
