it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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