Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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