I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
