Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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