party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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