I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
