So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
