How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
