New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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