you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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